Down in the dumps

With so much going on around me I am feeling dispondant.  We are going to be made illegal next year and it is quite a dominent thought in my mind.   I have made myself pretty unpopular in professional circles by refusing to join in and follow the crowd when I believe they had it wrong.  It’s stressful and upsetting.

On top of that recently I have had a client change midwives at 36 weeks.  This hasn’t happened to me before although I have picked up women from the other side of the coin always making sure that it is really what they want and have talked about it with their original midwife.

She hasn’t really given a reason, that’s ok and I have no possession of the birth at all.  Over the months of pregnancy I felt that this woman and I had become friends.  This ofen happens, I have an open personality and it is an intimate time in our lives.   Then I must have taken my eye off the ball and started gossiping and chitty chatting as friends do.  Not realising that this woman wanted more midwifing and less befriending.

I feel embarrassed and vulnerable, disspointed with myself and exposed.

Did I let the political situation and the need to discuss it over take me?  Did I miss cues that were being given to me that this woman didn’t really want to be my friend at all.  I must have.  How unprofessional of me.

This reflection has thrown me into a turmoil of lethargy.  I wish it were over, next year unable to practice, no clients to let down or expectations to live up to.  No authorities chasing me even tho I’m perfectly legal.  I can stay home and sew.

On that subject I bought a new sewing machine.  I haven’t had one for years but having purchased one have already completed my first skirt. Jos has been busy patchworking and bag making.


I have a normal family after all

Maybe I just need a stall at Stirling market and blow the whole midwifery shite.

Making time

I’m struggling with this blog.  Not because I don’t do lots of things but because midwifery takes over lots of my life by the time I’m think about blogging the moment has passed.  I’m good at taking the pictures but then rubblish at doing anything with them.

I’m going to work on this lots over the next few weeks as I really want this blog to be an account of my whole life.

All the issues going on in midwifery here in Australia at the moment take up lots of my thought time, as well as birthing with women.  Everyone seems to be at me, the college of midwives the consumer lobbyist, the gossips, the state.  This is probably just my paranoia but it’s how it feels.

My poor family exist all around me, propping me up and filling all my gaps.  I am looking for ways to diversify a bit with more public education on options etc.  Just have to find a way to make   it happen.

Rex birthday

It would appear that I really don’t have another life.  I have attended a few births and have been quite ill over the past few weeks.  That hasn’t stopped us getting out and about but just my energy for posting.

9th April was Rex birthday, he had a quad bikedscf1398

The kids have had lots of fun riding. We went to our friends in Meadows to ride on their 38 acres.


It was pretty cheap so there were no instructions and lots of the parts are susceptible to breaking so the boys have had hours of fun learning about engines.  This is so constructive for them.  However they are constantly dirty and smell like oil.  Jeremy has also had hours of fine, feeling like he’s a teenager again working on engines.

It is a 125cc and can drag lots of things as well as carrying two or three at once.


New rooms

My friend Sally opened her new studio last night.  It is a room they built from their garage.  A work room/studio where she completes her hand made products that she sells at the local markets and some shops.dscf11411

This was the opening party.  We came home at 11pm and then got called to a birth a few hours later.


Blue Tongue

We have a new visitor to our garden, a blue tongue lizard.


We also had a disaster at our house this week.   We have a fridge with a cooler that can filter water.  It has to be plumbed into the mains to work.  As ours is not plumbed in it makes a clicking noice.   This has been annoying Jeremy who thought he’d gravity feed water into the fridge .dscf10051

This however didn’t work.  So to test his theory that it was the water pressure he attached it up to a hose and then decided to leave the room.  About 15 mins later when we went back to the kitchen, the pressure had pushed the hose off and the kitchen was filling with water.dscf1004

hundreds of litres all over the floor. Here we are clearing it up. Wonder who is taking the picture?

All in one Week

My camera is all fixed but since moving house I haven’t been able to find my memory card.  May just have to get another.  It’s a pain, my phone camera is broken too so I’m photo bare.  It puts me off saying things as life is boring without pictures.

My lovely friend Katie had her baby last week.  She is my ‘cinema friend’.  Ever since arriving in Australia we have attended the cinema every other week, only missing if  attend a birth and other life events.  We had to stop when she had her last baby for 8 months.  This time she is more relaxed and I’m hoping that she will bring Alex along with her.


We attended Womad.  Word of music and dance.  It was an excellent festival and we had a homebirth network stand that I helped with for a number of hours.  The Children came with me on Sunday and we wandered around enjoying the ambiance, eating very large doughnuts and cribbing freebes.

At the same time as all of this was going on my closest school friend (also my 1st cousin) died.  She is just 17 days younger than me and she committed suicide.  It has been an awful week for my family but feeling helpless and so far away is frustrating.  It put me off writing about personal things as I’ve felt a little lost over it all.

I wrote a small piece which I asked to be read out.  However the funeral was seemingly two structured and arranged and they couldn’t fit it in.  I feel extremely upset about this.  If I were there I would just have stood up and said it anyway but my mother wouldn’t do it.

Here is it on the net, sent out to the ether and I know that she would like what I said and she would feel the same.


We were born 17 days apart we started school on the same day.  We wore our wellies and sat on the door step getting piles, climbed the sewer and got very silly when I kissed Gareth Humphreys.
We were best friends.
We walked to school together every day, when I had 5p pocket money and you had 1pound, you shared it with me.
We played sport to get out of queuing for lunch and we hide down at the radiators.
We were best friends.
You once said you thought we were friends because I felt I had to be as I was your cousin.  What could I say, you were funny intelligent, and all the boys liked you, of course we were best friends.
We wore our wellies to the Nonpol disco, and everyone knew us as THAT Lisa and THAT Christine, we were almost famous!!
The very best of friends.

We laughed and cried made up games, devised tv shows spent hours listening to the Goons and Roger Whittaker.

It  was the happiest time of our lives.  I know you felt it too, you had those terrible pics of us on your face book when we were bridesmaids at Sara’s Wedding.

Life took me travelling around the world and you were always there, the wonders of the Internet to chat and catch up with all, with home and life back in Wales.

I wish I was here now with everyone holding you dear for the last time, but even more I wish I was there when I could have been THAT Lisa. the one who would have known that your funny intelligent and well hidden soul was screaming for help.

I hope you have found your gang.

One last thing and most people wont get this but it is very important to say.
“If I were a rock star, I’d take you somewhere fancy”
Goodbye my friend, safe journey

This is all in one post because it’s the nature of My life.  In one week it has encountered birth and death, work and family, joy and devastation.  My adrenals are shot and some days I want to get off the roller coaster and onto the boating lake.


My camera has returned.  Well It’s made it as far as the post office so far.  I have to sign for it tomorrow.

I can get back to pictures of everything then.

We have had an unusual week with my closest school friend sadly dying.  She was also my 1st cousin(Well Wales is a small place)and I’m sad that I can’t get home to be with family.

Plus homebirth midwives are going to be illegal next year.  I’m getting on my high horse lots of course. Probably won’t work but I will fight to the death for the right of women to birth at home with a registered practitioner if that’s what they want.

Fish pond

Our new house has a fish pond.  I had no idea how much work there was.  This pond has a great waterfall and had potential.  We got the water looked at and it was just tap water.  We topped up the pool and then had to put special ph balancer and other such potions into the pool before we could even consider adding fish.


Once the balances were correct we added the 5 fish, all of which are recognisable by their distinguishing  marking. All very individual.


Lastly we added a few plants for effect.  Now all we have to do is hope all this enthusiasm pays off.

Moving house

We have moved house.  We are now living in Balhannah, a little further into the Adelaide Hills.  It was a major project. We hired a van for 3 days to move everything but the big furniture.  On the last day we had friends come and help to get all the regular furniture to the house.  We managed EVERYTHING including our pianola which weighs well over a Ton.

Our new house 403741453ml1233282116

It’s a log cabin, well it has 5 bedrooms so not really a cabin but a log home.  The area is not quite as fire prone but I’m sure we wouldn’t be staying to defend it in a crisis.


Here is our new living room.  It’s a living room, dining room, family room area.  This is our furniture.


The above picture is the kitchen area this is not our stuff but a photo taken by the agent. (Note to self. Find amazing skull stools to replace).

I have an office with a separate door and a car port.  I can drive straight up and unload my equipment.  I have a table and shelves so far.  Trip to IKEA is on the cards to kit it out with a sofa and some lovely things.  I know it’s not for anything, I always attend antenatals at peoples homes but I love the thought of my own space and the fact that my papers etc may eventually get sorted.

We also have another living room and a sun room.  Here is the view from the sun room.


We already feel much happier.  The other house never really suited us.  Once again school has come up.  We are today going to look at Oakbank.  Rex and Spike want to attend.  Jos doesn’t but will have no choice if the others decide to go.  Oak bank is an area school reception to year 12 with about 300 children.  In senior school you can do horse racing and viticulture. They have chickens and veggie gardens.  This is what we have been told.  Today we find out for ourselves.  A nice feral school would be good!!

Bloody Camera

My new fabulous underwater camera is already faulty.  I blame Rose and her hen party.  I’m sure that my camera just couldn’t cope with the willy shots (which by the way I couldn’t up load on the the WWW for your benefit).

The battery was very dodgy over the night so I assumed that it was going flat.  When I attempted to charge it up however it blew the charger.

Yesterday I took it back.  After being given the run around I got to talk to Greg from Fuji  who questioned me until he was happy I hadn’t been sabotaging the thing.  Don’t worry I explained the whole strip show thing to him in broad technicolour.  So I have to return it.  Harvey Norman can’t help or replace it,(what’s the point of them, I may as well have bought it on the Internet)and they couldn’t send it back for me because it’s a locked bag address and Harvey Norman don’t post to a locked bag no.  FFS.  I have no camera, how does a blog manage without one?